Once again, Laura, you ask the hard questions. The questions that matter. First off, that distance between perfection and failure you describe is one I know well. I lived in those extremes for most of my adult life. The constant toil, the unrealized fruit, the barren soil, all places I knew well. At some point I simply threw my hands up and grabbed the bottle. It was easier to escape than to prune. But God needed me willing to prune before He could nourish the soil around me. My husband and I struggled. Together and alone. Anger lit the match, but we fed the fuse. He was willing, but I was defensive. He wanted me to get help. I wanted escape. Then, he got silent. Not because he gave up. He got silent because he had nothing more to say. He knew he couldn’t “fix” me. He loved me, but he couldn’t do it for me. So, he prayed. He gave it all over to God long before I could. Long before I did. It got so much worse. And still, he prayed. That’s faith. Faith that sustains in the storm. Faith that holds hope close. Faith that forgives. I look back on that season of our life together and I see it all so clearly now. It was our pruning season. The season we had to go through to get to our growing season. Our healing season. We just celebrated 37 years of marriage last month. And the one thing we both agree on is that without God we wouldn’t be here, together, whole, and growing. Thank you, Laura, for your honesty and willingness to share the hard stuff. It matters. ♥️
Thank you so much! I feel like I’m reading my story! I didn’t go to the bottle, but I did other things. The rest though? Basically, the rest is the same! The anger, the defensiveness, silence. But he prayed for me! I thank God everyday for a man who stood in the gap even when it looked like nothing was going to work! It seems you did too! 😃Congratulations on 37 years! Crazy enough, we just celebrated 37 years this past May! I am so grateful that God had a plan when we were making our own plans. I so appreciate you sharing your story! Thanks so much Jen! I’m always so blessed by your comments! ❤️
Wow, this is brilliant. The way you unpacked longsuffering just struck me to my core. The idea of having a ‘long nose’ isn’t about not feeling angry, but increasing your capacity to control it. I think longsuffering is on the other side of the coin of self control, and your piece was drenched in it! Controlling your thoughts, your emotions, your resentments - truly taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ. Lovely piece!
Thank you so much for reading and for you comments! It means so much to me! I’m so glad this article spoke to you! That is everything! I so appreciate you! ❤️
Well, I wonder if it's a coincidence that my pastor recently spoke of the long nose, and now here you are with the same message. I have to think it's God-incidence.
OMG! That’s amazing! I actually love when that happens! And you’re in good company … so do I! 🤣. We’ll work on it together! Thank you for sharing this! ❤️
This is so beautiful, I had to actually sit myself down and take this in. I didn’t even realise that there was a short fuse I had in a domain of my life until you explained that you were asking for a fuse from God whilst you were still holding a match against your marriage. Thank you for this🙏🏾
Ah, those expectations and resentments. I learned in recovery that I make my own misery by trying to play God. When I let God run the show, I experienced serenity. When I trusted in God, I found that I got what I needed in that moment. On my spiritual journey, I have learned that having expectations is living in the future. Holding on to resentments is living in the past. God is only found in the present moment. When I live in the future or the past, I am living without God. Thank you for sharing your journey back to the present, Laura.
Thank you so much for sharing this!! What you said here, "having expectations is living in the future. Holding on to resentments is living in the past. God is only found in the present moment." Well said! I always appreciate your comments! Thanks so much for reading! 🤗 Appreciate you!
Once again, Laura, you ask the hard questions. The questions that matter. First off, that distance between perfection and failure you describe is one I know well. I lived in those extremes for most of my adult life. The constant toil, the unrealized fruit, the barren soil, all places I knew well. At some point I simply threw my hands up and grabbed the bottle. It was easier to escape than to prune. But God needed me willing to prune before He could nourish the soil around me. My husband and I struggled. Together and alone. Anger lit the match, but we fed the fuse. He was willing, but I was defensive. He wanted me to get help. I wanted escape. Then, he got silent. Not because he gave up. He got silent because he had nothing more to say. He knew he couldn’t “fix” me. He loved me, but he couldn’t do it for me. So, he prayed. He gave it all over to God long before I could. Long before I did. It got so much worse. And still, he prayed. That’s faith. Faith that sustains in the storm. Faith that holds hope close. Faith that forgives. I look back on that season of our life together and I see it all so clearly now. It was our pruning season. The season we had to go through to get to our growing season. Our healing season. We just celebrated 37 years of marriage last month. And the one thing we both agree on is that without God we wouldn’t be here, together, whole, and growing. Thank you, Laura, for your honesty and willingness to share the hard stuff. It matters. ♥️
Thank you so much! I feel like I’m reading my story! I didn’t go to the bottle, but I did other things. The rest though? Basically, the rest is the same! The anger, the defensiveness, silence. But he prayed for me! I thank God everyday for a man who stood in the gap even when it looked like nothing was going to work! It seems you did too! 😃Congratulations on 37 years! Crazy enough, we just celebrated 37 years this past May! I am so grateful that God had a plan when we were making our own plans. I so appreciate you sharing your story! Thanks so much Jen! I’m always so blessed by your comments! ❤️
I’m not surprised we have that in common! I’m so grateful to have met you here! It’s such a blessing!
Me too! 🥰
Wow, this is brilliant. The way you unpacked longsuffering just struck me to my core. The idea of having a ‘long nose’ isn’t about not feeling angry, but increasing your capacity to control it. I think longsuffering is on the other side of the coin of self control, and your piece was drenched in it! Controlling your thoughts, your emotions, your resentments - truly taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ. Lovely piece!
Thank you so much for reading and for you comments! It means so much to me! I’m so glad this article spoke to you! That is everything! I so appreciate you! ❤️
Well, I wonder if it's a coincidence that my pastor recently spoke of the long nose, and now here you are with the same message. I have to think it's God-incidence.
I need a longer nose.
OMG! That’s amazing! I actually love when that happens! And you’re in good company … so do I! 🤣. We’ll work on it together! Thank you for sharing this! ❤️
This is so beautiful, I had to actually sit myself down and take this in. I didn’t even realise that there was a short fuse I had in a domain of my life until you explained that you were asking for a fuse from God whilst you were still holding a match against your marriage. Thank you for this🙏🏾
You’re so welcome! Thank you so much for reading! 😊
I love how you broke down the meaning of ‘longsuffering’ and its roots in ancient language.
Thank you so much! Thank you so much for reading! ❤️
Ah, those expectations and resentments. I learned in recovery that I make my own misery by trying to play God. When I let God run the show, I experienced serenity. When I trusted in God, I found that I got what I needed in that moment. On my spiritual journey, I have learned that having expectations is living in the future. Holding on to resentments is living in the past. God is only found in the present moment. When I live in the future or the past, I am living without God. Thank you for sharing your journey back to the present, Laura.
Thank you so much for sharing this!! What you said here, "having expectations is living in the future. Holding on to resentments is living in the past. God is only found in the present moment." Well said! I always appreciate your comments! Thanks so much for reading! 🤗 Appreciate you!